My Blog

blessings is today’s ‘love u’reself tip………when eva u are down instead of brooding abt it count u’re blessings……for me no matter wat happens i know i have a home with my little snoop to return to…..no matter who lets me down my little bundle of joy will neva fail to put a smile on my face……..

well today my whole family had to attend prayers at the temple……..received lots of blessings…..n a reminder to start my thus prayers after exams end…….

its always gd to have somekinda faith….it can be inform of an art form religion or anything….but having faith in something makes one a better person…….yep…

yesterday i spent close to 3 hrs shopping for cutains fo rmy sis new hse n some other little things at arab street…..n my ankle hurts from all the walking….*sobz*

tomolo is my guest performanc eat zhenghua cc…i think tats the name……its an urmi melam competition n i’ll be dancing with my dance class hotties……ke ehee hee…so i gotta og start packing for it now…so tata……..

if u dun love u’re self then who will……….i remember reading this quote n the gist of it is…..only when u love u’reself will others be able to love u……….

i go ta little gift of cards with tips on how to improve each day n i think im going to deligently follow it if it applies to me……n i’ll share it in my msn nick n frenster shoutout too so tat everyone can enjoy it together with me………

there is nothing in the world better than taking some time off and pampering u’reself………nt enough money….?well tat itself can be quite depressing n i’ve been through tat many tmes….these are somethings u can do

1) use some special shower stuffs u have at home n have a nice shower with music at the back…….then make u’re self a hot cup-pa of anything or something cold n juz savor it slowly…….n pls dun have u’re tv on ……!

2)put on u’re mp3 n take an evening stroll…..wat i do is i walk to n fro the mrt n interchange…which is like 15 min since i stroll……its a good timeout session in u’re day….have such a route?…why not try it?

3)relive old memories…i dun mean look at u’re ex bf photo n sob!……well since my sec sch days i’ve had a drawer full of things which mean most to me…stuffs like cards my organizers over the years….notes we write to each other during lesson time n albums…n when eva i feel like it…..i’ll take it out n stroll down memory lane…..suppose u dun have such a thing then why not create one? or juz flip through albums n create a collage..tat’ll be fun too…

4)buy a cup of coffee….for me its starbucks or coffee bean….n write about things happening around u………

5)dress up at home…..n take loads of pics…….go crazy n create some new fashion with u’re clothes…try diff types of make up n take pics…..!

there will be sometime in u’re life where u won have anyone by u…….nt even family….or u may juz feel u wanna isolate u’reself……..well when such a time comes its is easy for one to go into a depression sort of mode……

my policy is b4 u come face to face which such a phase which u surely will…..learn to be comfortable in u’re own company………u muz be able to go out alone n shop or even dine out alone….even if u cld have company……everyone needs timeouts n such time to self coz only when u retreat can u make an extra long jump forth!

its finally over…..my dance show…..most of em enjoyed the first half while many felt the second half was somewhat unnessessary….which i feel is the point of the show…..out traditions n clssical culture is itsel so rich …… appreciate it coz we may like some kinda difference n try out new things but at the end of the day its the rice n curry that we’d crave for the most rite?……..

some comment i heard like ‘classical stuffs are actually very simple’ hahahaha  if u really wanna say it then try it man…….its simple mah then why u not doing it….? hm?

empty cans make the most noise n i take the comment as one tat is coming from such…….have heard many critisicms directed at me coz im classically trained……initially it offended me but with time i cld nt be bothered…… say all u want coz its falling into deft ears….

music n dance is my solace n no matter wat happens in my life my passion will pull me together n pull me put of the dark tunnel……

yesterday i went to tekka with rathi n trish(tracy…tivona…hee hee hee all same person) n i saw him….my first crush eva form sec sch…….when i was on sec 1 he was sec 4 n i was nuts abt him…unfortunately i looked like a geek back then……that he’d prob not taken a 2nd look at me……my wonderful frens too had many a times manatha vanguran me infront of him….*sigh*……..argh………..he’s so cute /…..

rathi n i caught a glimpse of him n i gave 101 excuses to dash out of jothi….bu tbefore i knew it he was gone!!!!chooo sad…….

so i did causally look left n rite to see if i may bump into him bt sadly…i din…..but it was cute ya…..hee hee hee…….this was 10 yrs back but stil he’s soo cute! argh……….

yesterday i had a nice sms converstation and a gd frn of mine is going through exactly    wat i went through sm wow……..4 yrs back……n till now i know pudicha sani vudathu!!

its true tat i might have been crazy in love……yes i won deny tat….i might have invested loads of energy  n had a mountain of faith tat no mATTER wat i’ll werk it out even if it is the entry of a new party……but nothin was eva enough n eventually i came up with the conclusion tat if its meant to be let go n if it comes back its mine……..n i juz felt in the end tat he neva loved me to start with so why put myself through such torture rite?….n i let it go for gd…no need fer it to come back coz i wontake it bck anyways…..but my surrounding will neva eva let it go……

no matter wat i did it seemed to the circle arnd me tat im trying my luck with him again………soooo much i went through coz ppl assumed tat i will neva move on n im trying n still m trying my luck after all these yrs……………ridiculous?? but true……..

i had sms threats, verbal arguments which were very hurting …..all coz they refuse to open their eyes to see…….

u know wat made me move on …….the fact that i got so much going for me………my education my music n dance my wonderful frens…….my life is so exciting n i luv it……why wld i wanna burst that pretty bubble pining for an idiot not worth 2 cents……..why shld i …? of coz not……

love is pretty n when i think abt those times now…..i smile n smtimes i do try to imagine n relive it…..but its an imaginary world……n its not life……do i feel anything when i see him…..of coz…who u kidding….i once loved tat bloke but if it eva comes back (which i dun think god is so mean to put me through)…….there is no chance of me accepting it for a simple reason…….u spit smthin dun lick it back again ya!

so now when i see my dearest going through it all i tell her juz one thing…..it’ll neva end……but u’re life will have to go on……..coz life….is so short n lovely…….dun waste u’re enrygy worrying instead use the enrergy to live life in everyway u wan to……….

in a way i thank god for putting me through all those heartbreaks for if not….i’d suffer alot handling disappointments which always spring up at unexpected moments……

i know i blog alot abt love n relationships….well wts life without all of these anyways rite?

i juz read someone’s shoutout which abt em being confused….abt a gal whom he is with because she loves him alot…..

i know it feels wonderfull to be loved….who does not like to be loved….everyone does ……….but if u’ve dated or been with the person for like long enough n u dun sense any such feeling then do u’re self n the poor gal a favour by juz being gd frens………..

personally i have to love the person n if i’ve decided to i’ll do it with all my heart……….but if at any time i know that like this guy the person is with only coz im super nice to him n coz i lvoe him alot n he juz sorta likes me then its period for me………..

realtionships….*sigh* they are juz such a headache…….being in it n inbetween it is all tough…………dunno why but im going back into my shell mode……..sometimes (only god knows why)i juz retreat back into my shell n isolate myuself from the world…….n juz hibernate……im going into tat mode  ya……….numb to everything….

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may is gonna be a month to do alot of werk….time to get into the battle field….eh….ya…!

got exams ‘bhed’ show n the urmi melam thingey also………i juz cant wait for may to be over….i know it’ll be over in a blink ,,,,,,,,,,so i juz gotta patiently wait…..after may…..its time to get down to some serious werk for my music stuffs n some othe things……gotta ‘clean out the closet’………..n organize my stuffs……..

for now im juz gonna get through this horribly dredful month slowly but surely……i cant wait!!!

life is juz so unpredictable…….juz yesterday noon i saw raj anna at rehearsal….he din look gd i’d say….he looked a bit grey to me……..

n last nite he died of a heart attack……a wonderful man…..who werked as a staff nurse n became a nurse educator at simei ite…………

he was my classs’ ‘god father’ always the motivator……he is one other person who was always so proud to see my class perform …it makes him feel liek his own children grown up n exhibiting success………..

he also prepares prayer alter for all the shows for our school…..n a gd soul like him has gone off so quickly….i always believe tat god takes the gd ones away quickly so tat they dun have to suffer in this screwed up world…they dun deserve suffering in this world half as much as us….

well i rushed down to the hospital when i knew he was still on life support as akka wanted me to sing him a song….but i was too late……..

raj anna……thanks fer being the support for our class all these yrs……..u’re motivation n support has made us grow into the dancers we are now……..when eva we perform we know n we always see the pride in u;re eyes…..n we will neva let u down anna…….

god bless u;re soul to rest in peace…..!

      “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16)”     

i hate to keep  secrets in a relationship…..some of my frens will say tat ‘pls la its not liek as if he’d eva eva find out………..’ n so i tried ….but i cld nt hold back any longer….i knew i might face dire consequences but i juz went ahead….n my close fren told me to be truthful…..she said….’the truth will hurt but choose the rite moment n rite time n u will be able to put it across ‘ she also said gd things will happen to gd ppl n u did not do it with bad intentions so say it….nothing will go wrong……

it was nerve wrecking but i told the truth n i got a response that i did not expect………i was shocked………i guess the my sincerity was louder than the fact that i lied ….thank u god…..now i feel so relieved…….clean slate………i juz pray god not to take this happiness away from me…..let it take time to develop…..but juz dun take it awy from me pls….